Uncertainty

What is this feeling?

It is one of those blogs I always knew I am  gonna write one day, Yes its about placement as this time was approaching I said to myself that I will be happy for others, hopeful,positive,relax and all that stuff but that reality is I am depleting I know all things about positive thinking and etc etc but not able to implement it.. Iam just running away from my feelings running away from govind and gaslighting myself the thing is i m not feeling and confronting my feelings, thats why i am writting this blog.

I don't know kal kya hoga....actually tomorrow is kahksha interview, she will be placed it will be nice, but i am scared about myself and just don't know what to type. Maybe if i am reding this in 5 years i will be calling myself so selfish, immature and what not but today i feel all this strongly, maybe its wrong n all that bad stuff but that's how i feel i am this type of person only, maybe i will change in future but now this is me.

Actually i wanna change ,,ok stop I need to focus on myself .ok got it actually when i wrote I found there is nothing to worry but its just I feel a weight on my heart which do not allow me to smile and laugh and have fun, so after a while i got the ans that weight is uncertainty. That will prevail until u get placed but i am seeing myself comparing and saying ohh she got higher package than me even though she got placed later blah blah so maybe i should be patient and trust god , he has something planed for me.

ok bye

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